I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
