OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
