guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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