Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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