He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
