I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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