im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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