so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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