I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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