i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
