You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
