I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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