Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
