You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
