she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
