it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
