I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
