tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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