i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
