i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize