I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
