I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
