He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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