i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
