She announced her abortion via fbk
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
