Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
