Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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