pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
