I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
