OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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