If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
