I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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