I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
