sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
