The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize