Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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