I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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