So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
