Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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