take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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