this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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