it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
