The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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