hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
