Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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