she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
