She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
