STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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