my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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