he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
