so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize