member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
