My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
