I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
