She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
