Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize