Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
