I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
