I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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