3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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