i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
