I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
