Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
