he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
