Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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