Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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