so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
